


What matters and what’s important

by spaceshipdear



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alexandria Safe-Zone, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Beth Greene Lives, Beth Greene deserved better, Beth Lives, Coda fix it, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Romance, What-If, bethyl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-19 04:24:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3596241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceshipdear/pseuds/spaceshipdear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sitting in the clean room of Deanna's house, Beth answers her questions and realizes she can't let her know who she truly is. Fix-It fic post Coda where Beth survived and entered Alexandria with the group.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've started this right after episode 512 aired. It took me a while to finish it but here it is. I've been wondering so much about how Beth would have felt and behave in Alexandria so I kind of wrote my own version. It's a one shot at the moment but after watching Forget I kinda want to make her interact with Aaron (because I have a huge crush on him, he's my new favorite after Daryl). I really think it could have been amazing to see her becoming friends with Aaron and Eric. I don't really have time to write lately so it might never happen, I dunno, tell me if you'd like to read more of this.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, feel free leave some feedback! I love to read them.
> 
> Thank you to my lovely beta Angie!

"What did you do before?"

"I was in high school."

"Did you graduate?"

She snorts for sole answer; her face remains closed and focused on the woman in front of her. Deanna, they said she is called. She was some sort of politician before and although Beth never actually met a politician, she can see it. She can see this woman hasn't really changed, she kept her habits, her way to talk, her way to move. It's somehow odd to be able to guess so easily what she used to be.

"How old are you Beth?"

"Does it matter anymore?"

"I don't know. Why don't you tell me?"

"I'm pretty sure you're not the kind of person to whom we  _tell_  things."

Deanna stays silent for a long moment, her eyes focused on Beth with a soft and reassuring smile on her features. A fake smile, Beth can only see how fake it was. That woman probably doesn't realize Beth can read into people like they are an open book.

"It matters. Who you were. It's important for us, to decide what you can do today."

Beth's mind wanders at her statement, her eyes leaving the woman to bore into the emptiness behind her.

_You got to stay who you are, not who you were._

She thinks of Daryl, how he stormed out from this place after his "interview" with Deanna, passing right by her and not glancing a look to anyone. She saw his anger, his uneasiness. He walked too fast by her but she saw it anyway.

Did Deanna ask him the same question?  _What did you do before?_  It's all that matters to Beth right now. She needs to know how he is, what she told him. Beth is actually the only person alive now to know the answer.

_You want to know what I was before all this? I was nobody. Nothing._

Her eyes drop on her lap. The woman is still quiet and not pushing, studying her.

"What do you do today then? In your group? You must have a role, everyone has. I'm sure you are a very valuable member."

Beth looks back at her, at her exaggerated benevolence all over her face. A slow rage is growing in Beth's chest ever since she walked in that room, ever since the woman laid eyes on her. She hasn't felt that anger since she was reunited with her family, with Maggie and Daryl and Judith. It seems like the constant fume surging inside her when she was at Grady was put down thanks to the people she loves. And now it's back.

Beth was brought in after everybody, it was just Noah and her waiting to be called inside. After all they both look the weakest. Too young, too fragile, too sweet. Isn't that why the cops at the hospital chose them ? History has an annoying habit to repeat itself.

They showed more interest in Carl because he is Rick's son and he's a huge part of the equation when it comes to their decision to stay in Alexandria or not. But her? Who could be suspicious of the cute blonde with big doe eyes?

"I take care of Judith."

"Isn't it Carl's job?"

"I've been taking care of her since she was born. Carl was too young then."

"You've been with this group for a long time right? Since your farm?"

Beth tries to keep her face still. Tries not to flinch and watch Deanna with wary eyes when she mentions the farm.

"Yes." She says with a dry voice.

"Maggie mentioned it. I'm sorry, I don't exactly know what you've lost but it must have been so hard."

"Yes. I-." She hesitates.

"You can talk to me Beth. You don't have to be afraid."

Like hell she is afraid in this way too clean house for this world. She is just weighing on how much information she can share with the woman for now. What she needs to know and what she should think of her. Back in Grady they all underestimated her and it worked. It damn worked. Noah escaped thanks to her. She made it out. She killed Dawn. Her blood soaking her hand and face when she stabbed her neck with the scissors.

But right now Deanna doesn't need to know that. She needs to see Beth as what she looks like, a young, weak and docile girl. She can't know what she is capable of. She uses the sweetest and most innocent voice she is capable of nowadays.

"I know I don't provide as much for the group as Maggie or Michonne. But I'm good at what I do. I care for Judith, I can protect her. I would protect her with everything I got. And Carl too. Well now he's older and stronger." She giggles softly. "But I used to take care of the kids. And I helped with feeding everyone, with Carol. We are a good team. It's not much but it's important I guess?" She isn't surprised when she is able to make her voice shake a little when asking this.

"I'm sure you are." Deanna's smile grows wider. "And please don't say you don't provide as much as the rest of your group. Children, they are our future and they need to be raised in the best environment we can offer them in this world. You will find it here. Your little Judith will be safe and she will grow up with other kids, protected from the outside."

Beth nods. She still isn't sure she can trust the people in Alexandria and especially not the one in front of her. But there is some truth in Deanna's statement. If this turns out to be safe, Judith could grow up here. They could all have a chance.

"What do you think about working at the school?"

Beth's eyes light up immediately. She was so sure Deanna was going to offer something in those books for her. Damn it's almost too easy. It's Beth's turn to fake the growing smile on her face.

"You have a school here?"

"Yes we do. There are a lot of kids in Alexandria. The younger children go in the morning and the older, most of them are around Carl's age, go in the afternoon. We have a teacher already, but I'm sure she'll be happy to have some help."

"Alright." Beth nods a couple of times, like she is thinking about this, her smile still on her face. "I'd like working at the school."

"Amazing! I'm sure you'll be just where you belong."

Beth can't stop watching Deanna, she is trying to see if the woman could have read into her. The politician might not be good at faking her kindness, she is however, skilled at not showing her game.

When Beth leaves the room and walks towards the door, Deanna tries to hug the younger woman goodbye. Beth can't help but dodge her gesture with an epidermic reaction at the thought of being touched by a stranger she doesn't trust. She looks at her with sharp eyes, incapable of hiding her uneasiness.

Deanna lifts her hands in surrender and smiles softly at Beth.

"I'm sorry sweetheart. I should have known better."

"It's- it's alright." Beth ducks her head and forces a smile, shoving aside her itching nerves after the woman called her 'sweetheart'. "I'm just not used to strangers is all."

"I'm sure you'll get there eventually. One step at the time." Deanna just brushes her shoulder while opening the front door so Beth can join her family.

…

Beth walks silently between Carol and Maggie. They are all watching their surroundings, the clean streets and fresh cut lawns. Very few people are wandering, most of them on work duties she supposes.

Aside from the clean streets, another thing that strikes Beth in that moment is the smell in the air. It's nothing like she has known the last couple of years. The dust and stale smell of the prison. The earthy scent of the woods of Georgia. The clinical and soapy smell of the hospital. The scent of decay and death that seems to follow everywhere they go. Here, the air is clear and healthy. Almost like before.

Carol is the first to break the silence.

"What did they give you to do?" She is addressing the question to Beth.

"Helping at the school." Beth answers flatly.

"Good."

Beth isn't sure if Carol is glad because it isn't a physical or dangerous work, she doesn't have the heart to ask right now. Her mind is far too preoccupied by Daryl and his interview after not finding him outside Deanna's house with the others.

"Do you know where Daryl went?" She can't hide the hint of worry in her voice.

"He's probably at the houses with Rick." Carol looks down at her and notices how tense her face seems to be. "You worried about something?"

"I-" She starts and stops. She knows she can speak to Carol about Daryl. She's probably the only other person in the group to know him almost as well as Beth does. But how can Beth be sure the older woman knows what she does? She just can't tell around the confessions Daryl made that night in the cabin and the following nights they spent together when it was just the two of them. This isn't her place. This isn't something she wants to say anyway. Those are secrets he shared with  _her_. Secrets of his past he felt confident enough he could tell her. He trusted her and she's not going to break that trust. And very selfishly she also doesn't want to share this with anyone else except Daryl. Because it's a piece of him she's the only to know, something that makes her unique in his eyes. From what's left of human beings alive on this Earth, she's the one he told. They share secrets, they share memories, moments, no one else has. She wants to keep that connection with him. It's what makes them special, what makes them a team, friends. Maybe something else, she's not sure, but maybe. They have time now, they have time to figure that out.

"I just didn't like how he stormed out."

"Some of us aren't made to live inside walls. Daryl more than anybody. I'm sure he'll come around. It might take time, but he will."

"That's if we actually stay here." Beth almost whispers.

Maggie speaks for the first time since they left the house. "You don't want to stay?"

"I don't know yet. There's… something about this place that feels odd. I don't trust them."

Maggie and Carol study the blonde for a short moment before Carol speaks again.

"What did you tell her in there?"

"Only what she wanted to hear." Beth answers in a hard tone.

"That's good. We don't want them to know what we are." Carol nods.

"And what are we?" Maggie squints her eyes at her.

Carol opens her mouth but is cut off by Beth. "Stronger. Stronger than anybody here." She whispers.

The women beside her nods and they fell back into a confortable silence, the three of them knowing what it means and agreeing in silence.

…

As she enters the house Beth feels anxiety slowly building inside her belly. It isn't exactly fear. It's more of a feeling of being completely foreign to her surroundings. She comes to trust her guts and here, now, it feels way too unfamiliar for her to be at ease.

Before she's able to find Daryl as she planned to, Carl appears from upstairs with new clothes and looking cleaner than she can remember seeing him in weeks.

He notices the surprise in her eyes and lets out a small laugh. "Yep showers are working. And the water  _is_  hot."

Her eyes widens as she takes in his statement and doesn't make a move even if she lets her eyes drift to the second floor.

"You should go before everyone learns the news." The boy's voice is warm and welcoming. He has been acting that way with her ever since they got reunited outside of the hospital, Judith in his arms and a pool of tears filling Beth's eyes at the sight. Ever since, they both have been sharing the task to keep and protect the little girl, with Rick occasionally stepping in to spend time with his daughter.

She's glad to be able to take care of the baby again. And really,  _glad_  isn't a strong enough word. She has never felt more alive and happy than when Judith was in her arms. Well, except for the brief moment when Daryl pulled her in for a hug just as strong as it was quick after they finally exited the building, blood sprayed on her face, Dawn's blood. After that she felt Maggie ripping her off from his embrace and she barely didn't let go for what seemed hours.

Beth has been recollecting her memories of that hug for weeks after. Looking at Daryl from the other side of the fire or when he was walking in front of her and all she could do was stare at the fading angel wings on his back. Those same wings she felt under her fingers when she dug so strong onto the fabric while she was in his arms.

After that, they lost Tyreese and they were barely surviving without any water and food. She usually followed him in the woods to look for game and anything that could help them survive. She was glad then to have Carl to look after little gateaways never lasted long, maybe an hour or two and they barely talked while it was the two of them but she could feel him almost relaxed at her side.

No matter how weak they were, no matter how beat up, she never lost faith they would make it. And the reason for that was because she was with him. He had found her and reunited her with her sister and Judith and her family. He had never stopped believing in her and she can only feel pride for it. Pride and strength.

Her eyes drift back to Carl who has an amused smirk on his face, but she can't help her mind to think about anything but the man with the angel wings.

"Do you know where Daryl is?"

"I think he's with my dad, checking the perimeter of the houses."

She nods. Daryl is busy with Rick and it's certainly not the right moment to ask him about the interview. She looks again upstairs and when the front door opens to let in most of the group, she turns to search for Daryl. But he's nowhere in sight, neither is Rick.

"It's my turn then." She says to Carl with a bright smile. The boy chuckles and shouts "Enjoy!" when she climbs the stairs two by two.

The warm water feels more heavenly than what she imagined. She can't repress the moan escaping her lips at the feeling of all the filth and grim flowing from her skin to the drain. She looks down and all she can see is brown tainted water and pieces of dirt and leaves. It's like a second chance, almost like a rebirth she thinks. And in that moment she can't help but hope for this place to be good. To be anything but a trap or the nightmare that Grady has been.

She tries to be quick and not take too much of the warm water, who knows how much there is and she doesn't want to deprive the rest of the group from the delight of a hot shower.

When she walks back downstairs everyone is getting familiar with the environment. It's odd, to be piled up in one place. Even if they practically lived on one another for weeks, they were still outside, in the wild. Not stacked inside like caged animals. And she can't help but wanting to go out to breath some fresh air.

That's where she finds him.

Daryl is sitting on the porch, next to what seems to be a stain of blood and guts. She looks down and hears his raspy voice. "Dressed the raccoon I caught earlier."

She chuckles at the mess it made on the wooden porch.

"Thank you. Once again, we owe you dinner."

He snorts. "I'm pretty sure they'll give us plenty of food for dinner. Don't look like they're starving here."

She sits down next to him and wraps her arms around her knees.

"They sure don't."

They stay silent for a moment, Beth keeps staring at the stain in front of her and when she finally turns her head he's studying her with one of his impenetrable stare.

"You're all cleaned up." He says quickly.

"Yeah." She breathes and closes her eyes while resting her cheek on her folded arms. "I almost wanted to stay in that shower and never leave. It felt so good."

When she opens her eyes, she notices his cheeks have taken a slightly pink blush and it makes her smile.

"You should go before they use all the hot water."

He grunts in response and shakes his head lightly.

"Did Deanna give you a job?" She asks with a small voice.

He shakes his head again, this time with more conviction.

"Did…" And she stops, not sure how to bring it up.

He doesn't talk either and the silence stretches.

"I lied to her in there." She's studying his face. "I didn't tell her who I was, who I am. They don't have to know."

"They'll find out."

"Not if I don't want them to."

Daryl is looking more and more curious, she can see it in the way he looks at her.

"It doesn't matter who we were." She continues. "She says it does. But it doesn't. Not really. I mean, not for everyone. I didn't have any skills, nothing useful back then and certainly not useful now. But today…" She smiles lightly. "Today I know what I'm worth, I know I'm strong and that's what's important."

"Yeah you are." He jerks his chin towards her. Her smile grows bigger.

"We're all important. That's all that matters."

Before he can drop his face to the ground she quickly sets her hand to cup his cheek. He jerks his head lightly before relaxing and boring into her eyes.

"You're important." She simply says with the most affectionate smile she can show to anyone nowadays.

No matter what Deanna asked him, no matter what he answered, all she wants him to know is that who he is today is the strongest person she has ever meet. The strongest and probably the kindest. He might not seem like it to the people that don't know him, but she knows. She knows he's everything to her. He has saved her countless times and not only literally. Because when she was alone in that hospital, when she was fighting to get out, all she had in mind was him. How he trained her, how he made her understand her value. How he made her realize she was strong.

For her today, it was all that mattered and all that was important. Being alive with him by her side.

She realizes then that if the people here are not strong enough, it's okay. It's okay because her, and him, and their family are. They will make it, together.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I know I said I might not continue this and I also have another story to write. But I rewatched that spaghetti dinner scene the other day and wonder what would have happened if Beth was there…
> 
> It's un-beta'd so I apologize for my typos. If anyone wants to be my beta by the way, feel free to send me a message. I'm a super slow writer so you won't have to proofread often lol.
> 
> I also rewrote a little bit the first chapter, nothing major so if you don't want to read it again, you don't have to. I just added a few paragraphs for what's happening inside Beth's head.

**Chapter 2**

She's standing in the corner of the room, hugging herself with her own arms. The crowd around is big, busy. Too big and too busy. The sound of everyone's voices all at once and the light music playing in the background, she should like it. She should be happy to see so much life around her. Oddly she is not and she doesn't exactly understand why.

So she stays in her corner, smiles when people are looking her way, whether it's her people or the others. Those she still doesn't know if she can trust. They are not bad people, it doesn't look like it anyway. The feeling she had the second she woke up in that room in Grady and when Dawn entered, that defiance, that need to protect herself, to run away, to be anywhere but there, she's not feeling it today. She didn't feel it the day before when they walked the gate of Alexandria.

But still. She can't trust them. Not yet. A tiny part of herself, deep down is telling her that she will, eventually. That she'll get to know them, like she got to know Noah at the hospital, the new comers Daryl, Glenn and the others were bringing back at the prison.

Zach.

Little by little, she ended up trusting them. It's still possible. She wants to believe it.

Right now is not the time for her to trust; right now is the time to observe, to hide, to be invisible, unnoticeable, unmemorable, so she can learn what their weaknesses and their strengths are. Understand whom she can get close to, to learn more. Olivia is the most obvious choice. Cheerful, unaware, naïve, maybe a bit too loud. That could work. Denise is still too shy, too set back, but eventually Beth could want to get to know her. Spencer, Deanna's son, seems to be a nice guy. But she's not sure she should be getting close to men here. She has to appear younger, more of a teenager. Reg has a reassuring figure, something paternal, something wise. That's not going to work. She can't get close to him. There's something about him that reminds her too much of her father.

She shivers a little. It's not cold but when she looks at Reg talking to Rick with Judith in his arms, something unexpected overflows her and she starts to breath in deeply, the air gone missing from her lungs.

She has to close her eyes for a few seconds, but the sounds are still there. There're too many people, they are way too happy, way too gullible. Don't they realize what's outside? What they could loose?

She can't do this anymore. She can't smile, she can't pretend, she has to go out.

Without any hesitations she pushes herself from the wall and starts walking to the door when Maggie's voice resonates behind her.

"Bethy?"

Beth has a take a deep breath because her bigger sister knows her way too well and she'll notice her uneasiness.

She tries to smile then and turns half way around.

"I'm going to check on Daryl, he's not here yet." She says quickly before turning back to face the door.

"I'm not sure Daryl wants to come." Maggie says kindly.

"Yeah." Beth answers without moving. "I know, I wasn't expecting him to be here, but I need to see he's ok."

And she leaves the house. Maggie stays still, watching at the door for a few seconds. She knows, they all know now ever since they went to get her out of Grady, that Daryl and Beth have something. Something unspoken, something only the two of them understand. It's the kind of bond you build when you survive together in this world. They don't question it, not in front of Daryl and Beth anyway.

The fresh air is nice on Beth's face, not that it's actually cool outside but the simple fact to be alone and not surrounded by dozen of strangers is like walking into a fresh winter night.

Suddenly she sees something moving, or better she feels it. An inexplicable shiver runs through her skin, from the back of her hands to the end of her spine. She notices a shadow moving from the trees. Her hand goes straight to her waist on impulse but there's nothing to grasp. Her knife has been taken from her when they arrived.

Her heart finally slows when she distinguishes the silhouette of Daryl leaving the trees' shadows to walk down the street away from her.

He's not walking away fast and she doesn't think he saw her, or maybe didn't recognize her in the dark of the night.

"Daryl." She calls, trying to keep her voice down enough not to be heard from inside.

Daryl's silhouette freezes and she sees his head turning half way to her direction, his back to her.

Walking quickly to him, she calls him again.

"Daryl, wait!"

"Whatcha doing here?" His voice is coarse, not exactly welcoming.

"I could ask you the same question."

She finally bypasses him to face him. He shrugs but she notices the absence in his eyes. She's not sure what it is, why he has this look on his face.

"You didn't want to come in?"

He grunts something inaudible, half a "no" and "don't know". The sound makes her smile. She hasn't thought about it really, the smile just appeared. Because this sound seems to comfort her. It's familiar. It's him. It's so him. And it reminds her how much she missed it while they were apart, no matter how annoying it can be sometimes.

"It wasn't a good party anyway. No Cheetos." She adds lightly to ease up the tension.

He snorts and just like that the thing in his eyes she couldn't name is gone. He looks at her this time, really looks at her.

"What ain't you in there?"

It's her turn to have her eyes filled with some worry, some sadness. She tries to hide it but he notices, she knows he notices.

"It was weird. I didn't felt… I don't know. It didn't felt right I guess."

He stays silent and keeps looking at her. Her face, her eyes, her bare arms and his gaze is dropping now to the length of her torso and her legs. She's all cleaned up and wearing new clothes. She still has her boots but no more torn up jeans and dirty polo tops. Jessie brought them clothes, clean clothes, almost new clothes. She's wearing light blue jeans, a little too long for her, she had to twist the hem above her boots to make them shorter. And she's only wearing a cream button up shirt, too large for her too. Looks like there were no petites in this community before her. The first three buttons are open and Daryl focuses his eyes on her heart pendant, sitting just under her collarbones on a new metal chain she found earlier today to replace the wormed out leather thread he was hanging on for the last year.

She feels her pulse racing a little, she's not sure why. Maybe it's the way he looks at her, the way he looks at her without hiding it, without any awkwardness. And she likes that, the fact that he allows himself to do so. She doesn't mind, in fact it's pleasant, it's warming her inside and she wants him to continue.

But he does more. His fingers curl around the little heart, brushing her skin, probably feeling her rapid pulse. He looks at the delicate piece of metal between his fingers before lifting his eyes to hers.

One corner of his lip twitches up and she feels a smile of her own tugging at her lips.

"I remember that necklace."

"Really?" She almost whispers.

"Mhmm." That sound again. Her smile grows even bigger. "You had it at the farm on a chain like that."

She's surprised he remembers that. They never really talked that much at the farm, not even at the prison, at least not at first. But after Judith was born, he seemed to enjoy coming to see Beth when she was with the baby. It never occurred to her that he might enjoy her company, she always thought he wanted to see Judith, seeing how much he cared for the little girl.

He noticed the necklace though. So maybe he did notice her too.

"It was on a leather thread I got at the prison before. I found the chain today. At least it's more solid."

He nods a couple of times glancing up at her rapidly to go back contemplating the pendant in his hand.

"I was going back to the house, wanna walk with me?" She finally asks.

"Yeah. Let's go."

He drops the necklace, the cool contact of the metal replacing the warmth of his skin where his knuckles grazed her collarbones.

They walk in silence for a block when they see the dime light turning on the porch of a house they were passing by.

"Daryl. Beth. Hey."

It's Aaron, just coming out of his house. Daryl seems immediately defensive.

"Thought you were gone to that party over there." Daryl points towards Deanna's house.

"Oh I was never going to go 'cause of Eric's ankle. Thank God."

Beth breathes a laugh and both Daryl and Aaron look at her. Daryl doesn't seem very amused, but it draws a knowing smile on Aaron's face.

"Why the hell you tell me to go, then?" Daryl asks suddenly.

She tilts her hand to the side, watching the exchange between the two men, starting to understand why Daryl didn't seem too happy to see Aaron just a minute ago.

"Was that why you were outside over there?" She asks Daryl.

Daryl casts her a look and she sees his jaw tighten.

"I weren't planning to go. Just… I dunno."

"I said try. You did. It's a thought that counts thing." Aaron huffs a light laugh, still smiling kindly.

Beth starts to see something in him. Something different from the others. Daryl on the other hand is ready to flee, she can feel it.

He mumbles a frustrated "All right" and nudges at her elbow to motion her to follow him.

"Hey, guys, come in. Have some dinner."

Daryl stops and stares at Aaron for a few second before his eyes are drawn to Beth. She has a bright smile on her face now and she sees a switch in his posture, he stops bouncing back and forth on his feet and locks his eyes to hers.

"Dinner sounds great." She says looking at Daryl.

"Yeah come on man, it's some pretty serious spaghetti. Much better than what they were serving at that party."

Beth laces her fingers in Daryl's and he doesn't advert his eyes from her. She jerks her head toward Aaron's front door and starts walking up the stairs. Daryl follows her, his hand still in hers.

"Well they had cookies that were pretty delicious, you'd have to beat that."

"Oh don't worry, my husband's pasta is the best." Aaron answers Beth while closing the door.

Beth is still holding Daryl's hand and she doesn't want to let go. No matter how genuinely kind Aaron and Eric seem to be, she's not too comfortable being in their home, in any home of this community really. Closed doors aren't her favorite things ever since she was held captive in that hospital.

She feels Daryl's hand tighten around hers. Large fingers entwined with her slender ones. She sees Aaron noticing but she doesn't care. That could also be something to help her read him. Seeing how he could react to this type of relationship can be a good indicator of his character.

 _Relationship_.

She realizes she thought of the word like it's the most natural thing in the world. Of course Daryl and her have a relationship. Friends. Partners. Allies. Survivors. Saviors. There are a lot of words that could describe their relationship and yet, ever since she rejoined her family she has a pretty hard time explaining to herself what Daryl represents for her. That night at the funeral home, no matter what happened after that, no matter that they were separated for so long, it shifted something in her. She had no idea, really no clue. All that time they were on the road together, she couldn't even have imagined Daryl felt that way about her. They haven't speak about it ever since so she still isn't sure what he meant, what he wanted to make her understand at the kitchen table, but this wasn't her imagination playing with her mind. It wasn't a trick. It was real. And she felt it that night, like never before. She felt the surprise, the warmth, the damn astonishment of Daryl Dixon telling her she was his world now. She was his light, his hope. How didn't she notice? Maybe things would have been different. Maybe she wouldn't have been so shocked and she would have called him back before he opened that damn door. Maybe…

"Wanna come in?" Aaron was looking at her with an amused smile and she dropped Daryl's hand letting out a sharp breath.

"Yeah." She nods and finally walks inside the leaving room, Daryl following her closely behind. So close he put a light hand on her back, just like if he wanted to tell her he was here. And she's glad for that gesture.

…

Daryl is shoving spaghettis into his mouth in an absolutely messy way under Aaron and Eric's amused eyes. At some point Eric, who's sited in front of Beth, glances a look at her. She smiles in return.

She hasn't seen Daryl eating so eagerly ever since the prison and certainly not since they arrived here. Something about being with Aaron had him relax from all the tension he has been carrying the whole night.

At some point Eric makes a mistake in asking Daryl if he could check for a pasta maker for some lady during his travels outside. Aaron doesn't seem pleased at Eric's blunder. Beth immediately realizes what Eric was implying and she feels her heart clench into her chest.

She doesn't say anything and Daryl goes out in the garage with Aaron, not without glancing at her a couple of times before he disappears behind the door.

Beth stays silent then, processing the fact that Aaron is probably asking Daryl to go out with him on his runs to recruit people. She pokes her fork in the last pieces of food that are getting cold and gooey in her plate. She usually would never waste food like this, but her insides are too twisted now. She's not sure why she feels like this. Not sure she's allowed. After all Daryl has every right to go outside, and Beth's actually convinced he would be a great recruiter. He knows how to read people. But she doesn't think she's ready to be separated from him again. That's the problem, that's why she immediately felt a panicked feeling rising in her chest as soon as she understood what Aaron wanted.

Eric is watching with a faint smile on his face.

"Not to your taste?"

She suddenly snaps out of it, reminded of the reality of the situation. She has to keep in character, she doesn't know these guys well enough yet. So she smiles, her best Beth-Greene-the-lovely-gullible-teenager-smile. Which isn't too hard thanks to the two glasses of wine she had during dinner.

"Oh no it's good, it's really good! I just had too many pigs in a blanket at the party before. And I think my stomach isn't used to so much food all at once yet."

She ducks her head shyly.

"Yeah I can only imagine how hard it must have been for you outside."

 _Oh but the thing is you have no idea_ , she thinks bitterly.

"It was. Thankfully Daryl is a good hunter. Sometime he would bring us back squirrels and raccoons." She laughs a little at Eric's widely opened eyes. "It's better than it sounds!"

Eric sets his knife and fork in the table next to his plate and folds his hands in front of him. There's some concern in his features, but also benevolence and kindness. He's not hiding it, and he's not faking, she's sure of it.

His voice takes a more seriously tone.

"I guess you know what Aaron is asking Daryl? The thing is Aaron doesn't want me to go outside anymore. He's more trained for it, more capable. I was an accountant." He huffs a laugh. "It's probably the most useless of jobs now. No money, nothing to count. That's a done deal. And of course now that I injured myself he doesn't want it to happen again."

He pauses, watches Beth who remained immobile ever since he started talking.

"Are you going to be okay with this?" He asks, looking genuinely concerned.

"I— Well Daryl doesn't need my agreement to do anything." She answers kind of taken away at Eric's question.

"Oh." He blinks a couple of time. "Oh I thought you two…" And he leaves the phrase unfinished.

So Eric noticed too when they were holding hands entering the room.

"No, well, I mean we're friends. I was holding his hand because he didn't really want to come have dinner with you guys. It doesn't mean anything." She tries to blush a little and again, the wine comes in handy.

"Holding hands? I didn't see that. I just assumed the way you look at each other that you were maybe more than friends."

Beth opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out. This time she's completely taken off guard. She didn't realized during dinner that she was looking at Daryl in any special way, nor that he was. She's not sure how to respond to Eric.

"Beth, it's okay, I won't judge. We won't judge. That's not who we are. We don't know you guys, what you've been through together, what is your relationship. It's not our business if you don't want to talk about it. But if I may…?" He asks with a playful smile.

She just nods, still not wanting to say anything that could jeopardies her position here.

"You're more than friends. There's no reason to hide it. If you're already together that's great, and I'll stop bothering you, 'cause I think you are an adorable couple. I won't tell anyone if that's what you guys want. No worries.  _But_ …" He emphasizes his last word. "If you both haven't realize that we're not just friends, well, I think you should, really soon. Because honestly, you don't want to waste any time. The world we live in now, there's no room for taking your time. Be honest with each other, that's my advice."

Beth can't seem to make her mouth and her tongue work. There is so much truth in what Eric is saying that she doesn't how to process everything at once. She feels like blood is flowing way too quickly in her brain, and it's not because of the wine.

First of, the man is way too discerning. And she doesn't know what to do with that. If she should keep pretending, if she can actually make him believe she is someone else. But at the same time, nothing in what he said made her think he was trying to manipulate her, or hurting her.  _He is a good person_. It's overwhelming how much he wants to actually help. It's overwhelming because she didn't think anyone here could be genuinely good. Anyone left in the world really. After all they've been through, after all the pain and hurt she had to suffer, being with such honestly is a bit hard to process.

It might seem so simple, these advises. But she's been holding on her feelings towards Daryl for so long and never shared this with anyone. It's actually the first time someone ever voice any kind of thought about them. No one had a conversation with her about how she feels and what she wants in so long.

And mostly, he is right. So damn right, it hits her in the chest like an eighteen-wheeler launched at full speed.

Why is she wasting time? Why hasn't she immediately acknowledged her feelings to him as soon as they were reunited? She had time to think at the hospital, so much time, every day to rewind their last conversation in her head over and over again. That moment she didn't grasp at first, that moment she ended up fully comprehending when she saw his look at Grady. That look he gave her before pulling her into a quick hug. The same expression he had at the kitchen table. She didn't dare questioning him ever since. But she should have. Yes she should have.

She's feeling it too, and he has to know.

"You're right." She says, her voice much smaller than she would like it to be. "You're right, we're more than friends. I don't know what we are. But I wanna find out."

Eric smiles a little, he seems both happy for her and happy with himself. There's so much playfulness in his eyes, and so much kindness, Beth is stunned again.

"I hope you do. And I hope we can stick together when our boys are out there. If you ever need to talk… I know I'm not part of your family. Yet." This playful smile again. "But I would gladly be your friend if you allow me to."

The door of the garage opens loudly at the other end of the room. Beth nods slowly and gives Eric a small smile.

"Woah, what were you two talking about? Looks pretty mysterious." Aaron asks when sitting back next to Beth.

"None of you business, sir." Eric says joyfully before giving Beth a wink that makes her blush fearfully. That damned wine again. Or that's what she wants to think.

Daryl is still standing before his chair and watching her with squinting eyes. She does her best to hide the redness of her cheeks with the palm of her hand.

"I think we gotta go." Daryl grunts.

He takes his glass still half full of wine on the table and drinks it in a gulp until the last drop. Aaron, Eric and Beth are all watching him as the liquid slides loudly and visibly in his throat, making his Adam's apple roll.

"Beth?" He asks a little impatient.

"Yes. Yeah, I'm coming." She smiles as she stands up. "Thank you guys, it was a lovely dinner. And very serious spaghetti."

Eric smiles widely at her where their looks cross above the table.

"And Eric, I— I will take that offer."

"I'm happy to hear that. You know where to find me Beth."

Aaron and Daryl exchange a look and before any of them can say anything, Beth goes around the table, entwines her fingers around Daryl's hands and pulls him towards the door.

It all happens so fast and naturally for Beth that Daryl watches her hand around his and blinks a few times before understanding he has to move to follow her. It's not the first time Beth has taken his hand between hers but somehow it takes him away that she did it twice in the same night, with completely no apparent reasons the second time.

Once they are outside and Aaron's door is closed, Beth and Daryl start walking. He doesn't do anything to remove his hand, if anything she even thinks she can feel him tightening his hold. It makes her smile a little to herself.

"Daryl?" She has no idea if the wine is giving her courage or if it was all Eric's pep talk, but she finally says, "We never finished our discussion at the funeral home kitchen table."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the last chapter of this short story. It's short but it's everything I had in mind. I wasn't sure I wanted to continue it when I wrote the first chapter but I kind of happy with how the story turned out.
> 
> Be warned it's super fluffy! I don't know if it's because my love life has been on a roller coaster over the past year, but I'm in need for romance apparently haha! So yeah, it's cheesier than what I usually write (I think?) but I hope it will warm your heart.
> 
> Not beta'd as usual. Sorry for my bad spelling. Especially because I wrote during a pretty bad insomnia so it might worst than usual. I apologize.

He stops walking and stiffens. And she realizes maybe that wasn't such a good idea. It might have taken time to reestablish communications with him over the past weeks, but they are in a good place now, she doesn't want to jeopardize that.

His eyes are focusing everywhere but on her and a soft grunt rumbles in his throat. He doesn't let go of her hand and just stands there, in front of her, close enough that she can see his jaw tightening. Beth tries to hold on to the boldness that took over her when she asked her question.

"It's okay Daryl. I feel it too."

He lifts his head so quickly to meet her eyes she almost stumbles back. There's curiosity in them and a hint of questioning too. She's not sure if she also sees suspicion and it makes her heart heavy and aching a little that he could think she doesn't mean it.

"When I woke up in that hospital, the first thing I thought about was you. It was hard, it was almost impossible to go on at first, not knowing where you were, not knowing if you were still alive. Being so alone."

It reaches something inside him, she knows it does. His eyes soften and he bows his head to look at the ground, worrying his lip with his teeth.

Her courage seems to overflow her. He hasn't let go of her hand, he didn't flee at her words. So she squeezes his hand and takes a step closer.

"I remained strong there. I knew I would get out of that place. I didn't know if I would ever see you again. But I kept strong. Because in my mind it was not over. We had to meet again. There was no way-" Her voice breaks and she swallows hard to regain control over her emotions.

Daryl notices and looks at her again. She's not prepared when his free hand cups her cheek, she almost gasps at the touch. It's so light, feather fingers barely grazing her skin, like he's not sure he can do it. She closes her eyes and leans in.

"I knew we'd be together again." She opens her eyes. "You gave me hope. You allowed me to keep the hope I was holding on, no matter what. I was alone, I had no nothing left to hang on, except the hope to see you again."

"Beth." It's a whisper and when she looks at his lips barely moving saying her name she's overcome with the need to kiss him. To feel those lips against hers. To hold on to him and never let go.

She was aware of these feelings. It took a while, even after they were separated, to realize it was more than friendship, far more than a necessity to survive. But right this moment she's never been more sure of anything.

"I feel it too Daryl. Whatever it is, I feel it too."

"I ain't…" It's hard for him, to phrase those words. She's not sure why.

Maybe because he never shared this with anyone? She feels a little proud at that thought, and just as sad. Because this man deserves every shred of love and happiness this doomed Earth has to offer.

He drops his hand and she can still feel the ghost of it on her skin.

"Why you telling me this?" He asks with honesty.

"Because I don't wanna loose any more time. I almost died-" She laughs softly. "So many times. I lost count. But I'm still here. And you are too. And I don't see why I shouldn't be honest, why _we_ shouldn't be."

She can almost see the wheels turning in his brain, full speed, his train of thoughts running across his face. Oh what she would give to hear what's happening inside his head. He's not always been that quiet, that reserved. She remembers at the farm and at the prison. He could be cocky and loud. What happened with his brother, with the governor and everything after, it broke something in him. She wants to reach inside and put the pieces together. She wants him to be able to talk to her.

But he won't. She knows he won't and that's okay. Really it is. She can read his eyes. She understands, with the way his hand is still tight and warm around hers, the way his voice is calm, the way he stopped biting at his lip.

She smiles softly and leans in. He barely jerks away, just a reflex, some old habit of a previous life. But she notices how he relaxes when her lips brushes the corner of his mouth. And she feels the warmth of his breathe against her sensitive skin. It feels good, so damn good she wants more, she needs so much more of him. It's never been so physical before. She occasionally thought of him that way, about his skin, his lips, his hands, the heat radiating from his body. But it's never been so vivid. It's never been a burning craving coming from inside her belly.

She stays there, on the edge of something more. It's enough for now. They have time now. They have time because it's finally in the open, it's finally out. He knows and it will happen, eventually. She's okay with that. She doesn't want to press him, she doesn't have to.

A last pressure of her lips on his skin and it's like a tremor vibrates through him.

They look at each other for a little while. She's lost in his eyes, blue and welcoming and still questioning. She'll answer those questions, she will. Not tonight.

After a quick thug from her hand to set him in motion they walk back slowly towards the house.

It's empty when they arrive, everyone is still at the party, including Judith and Carl. Daryl lets go of her hand once they are inside. He walks towards the blanket and pillow that were scattered in the corner of the room by the window where he was sleeping and also goes to gather the ones Beth used next to Judith's crib.

She watches him in silence, not exactly sure what to make of this.

"Com'on." He jerks his head towards the opposite room across the hall.

It's a small office room. A well-kept bookshelf and a massive wooden desk are almost filling the whole space. Daryl drops the blankets and pillows on the floor and removes the chair behind the desk to the side. Beth is still trying to understand what he wants to do, but she helps him when he starts pushing the desk against the wall to make more room.

Her look drops on the pile of blankets and back to him. This time he is biting at his thumbnail nervously, unsure.

"That okay?"

She barely understands his mumbling behind his finger.

When the full realization hits her, she smiles widely. It lights up his face and he finally lets go of his thumb to set up the blankets and pillows on the floor, right next to each other.

He does it so gently, so carefully, she doesn't find the will to help him, she just watches him tackle the task.

She lies down before he does, because he looks like he needs a little encouraging. She's nervous, she really is. But she's also very relaxed. It's an odd feeling, to be such at ease when her heart goes like thunder in her chest.

She knows he's not going to try anything. And even if he wanted to, she's not sure she wouldn't be ready. It's not exactly a question she's been asking herself. Still, she did think about it. Being with him fully, intimately, like she's never been with anyone. She wants that. Yes she does. She's never really imagined it happening, because that's not where they are at. Not yet. But now that she's really thinking about it, about him. Now that the possibility lies in front of her, she imagines it. And she wants to. She really wants to.

Anyway, she knows that's not how he sees her. For now. That will change maybe. Surely. Hopefully.

He lowers himself and sits on his side, right knee up and his arm resting on it. She's laying on her side, facing him, eyes soft and heavy on his features. His other hand cups her cheek again.

The door is cracked open. She's not sure he's done it on purpose, to make sure they hear anything happening and they can run easily in case of danger or if it's to reassure her.

"You can close the door, Daryl."

She doesn't need reassuring. Him being with her is the only comfort she needs.

The room is so small, he just has to turn around to shut it. He does so quietly even if the house is empty.

He still doesn't lie down with her and keeps looking at her face.

"I don't know what's happening Beth." His voice isn't shy; it's not a whisper this time, it fills the room.

"I don't know either."

"Never had that before. Never felt that."

"We'll figure it out together."

"Yeah." He nods slowly, still a little lost in his thoughts and in her eyes.

"Come on." She tells him.

So he lies down, facing her and using his arm as a pillow. He reaches for the blanket to put it over her shoulders. His hand goes to her hair and caresses it for a few moments. She feels her eyes becoming heavy with sleep. She moves closer to him and as if it was the most natural thing he's ever done, he lays down on his back and stretches his arm to welcome her on his chest.

She nests herself on his side, head and hand resting on the firm muscles of his thorax. He's warm. He's solid and strong. He closes his arm around her shoulder and she feels him relax under her. Relax to a point he releases a long quiet sight.

She starts falling asleep, her vision is blurred with images of Daryl's lips and hands, of his scent right under her. Of memories of the evening, Erick's words echoing in her ears and the rumble of people at the party. But it's fading and fading, only replaced by the smoothing sound of his breathing and the movements of his chest.

_You don't want to waste any time._

She won't. They won't. Now it's all starting for them.


End file.
